


We are not together.

by FyreinFlair



Series: Sensory Prompt Fills [7]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Fluff, POV Fenris (Dragon Age)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-14 16:44:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11787261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FyreinFlair/pseuds/FyreinFlair
Summary: Fenris and Hawke are not in a relationship.  Nope. Not at all.Fenris POV, act II after their one romantic night together





	We are not together.

We are not together. **  
**

We know this yet I cannot ignore the magnetic pull of her laughter.

We were together for an instant, one small moment that came and burned with a light so brilliant until it opened scars I didn’t know existed.

I told her I had to leave.  I told her I was weak, I was a fool.  I still am. Yet every day she comes to my door and knocks, asking me to join her.

My reply is always the same.

We are not together but she takes my hand anyway, leading me to new places, new adventures, new troubles.  I can not deny how much the thrill of battle, of helping others makes me almost feel whole again.  We move our swords in tandem, destroying our enemies with the grace of a choreographed dance. When all is done, we celebrate, each time a different combination of friends to toast our glasses to.

And yet I’m always there, a ghost of a man, of a lover, raising my glass to a woman I can’t avoid. I tell myself we’re just friends.  We’re the same as we were before.  Our time spent together is not for ourselves, but for others.  We don’t look at each other with flushing faces.  My heart doesn’t skip a beat every time she touches me in passing. There is no feeling. There is no longing. There is nothing.

I’ve always been a terrible liar.

Every day it is my door that she knocks upon first, and without question I follow.  Every day she chooses different companions to join us, myself being the only constant. It bothers me… or perhaps bother is the wrong word.  Her preference of my presence doesn’t bother me; it’s that I love it. If she were to bring anyone in my place it would feel wrong.  I crave it, crave her. And she knows this.  She knows I cannot be with her, yet she persists.

So where she goes, I follow.

Some nights, she calls upon me when there is nothing to be done.  Those rare evenings where Kirkwall is quiet and the city plays a pretend sort of peace, she knocks on my door once more, grabs me by the hand and takes me out alone.  She never tells me where we may go, yet I never ask.

Tonight it’s the Chantry.  Turning to me, she asks, “You’re not afraid of heights are you?”  

I shake my head no.  Grinning wildly she releases my hand to begin her ascent up the Chantry wall.  She always finds the most idiotic ways to do things.

But of course, being an idiot myself, I follow.

We climb the wall as if it is a game, finding new footholds in the buttresses and unused windows. Finally at the top, she collapses onto the light incline of the slanted roof, laughing with what exhausted breath she had left.  "We made it,“ she breathes, patting the bare roof beside her as an invitation to join.

Slowly I make my way to lay down next to her, careful not to fall.

The moonlight reflects in her light blue eyes, making them glow.  Her hair moves with the wind, black as the night around them.  I open my mouth to say something but she shushes me. “Just wait for it,” she says pointing up at the sky.

We watch the indigo heavens, the symphony of our breaths and fast beating hearts slowing down time as we wait. I’m not sure when my gaze drifted from the sky to her face, focusing on the curve of her cheeks, but it isn’t until she suddenly she gasps, pointing once more.

“Look! There it is!” she whispers excitedly, “Isn’t it beautiful?”

"Yes…” I mumble, my eyes not straying from her face.  She turns my way and giggles.  "I meant the stars you dummy! Come on look, it’s a meteor shower!“

I break my gaze away from her, and look at the twinkling sky.  She is right, of course.  The sky is alight with falling stars, glittering streaks of crimson painting their way through the night; distant but gleaming with a light so bright, it feels like they are alive.

We lay there for a while, just breathing in time with one another, watching as the world seems to turn around us. Time seems to still itself when I’m with her.

I can’t recall how her hand ended up in mine, but as soon as I realize it is there, I squeeze tightly, as if to remind her that I’m here, I won’t leave this time, I am hers.

We are not together, but we both know that’s not quite true.

**Author's Note:**

> Look I can't get enough of these two okay? I love them. They love each other. WHY DO THEY WAIT SO LONG TO ADMIT IT DAMMIT
> 
> Ugh. Fenris it's okay to have feeeeelinnggssss *sobs*
> 
> sensory prompt: Watching a Meteor Shower


End file.
